i cant say these words to anyone so i guess ill sing them instead theres a devil inside my body and the hells inside my head and i just want to be something to you and i just want to be something more than this its been a few days now its couple of days and these few days turn into a couple of weeks soon we wont know eachother and i just want to be something to you and i just want to be something more than this is the start of something new me and you

this makes me feel like a weak man who thinks that he is strong must i play the chauvanist to be the man you want sweaty fingers push down on yr throat you say you like it rough but it's hard to think i do this out of love and from my own submissive pleasure i want to do just as you wish but i slap your face too lightly when you ask me to make fists kiss me softly do not bite we can explore like naughty kids you say yr bored want dominating and i just stare and flinch how rude of me to bring my thoughts into yr bedroom Ii it condescending to be so scared i might hurt you

you said you hate yrself so let me feed you strawberries off a plate i bought from a widow who was selling her husbands things and we'll see if you still hate yrself if you still hate yrself i'll eat you out for an hour in yr room cause i love giving head if you still hate yrself we'll cut ourselves and swallow chunks of broken glass i don't care about finishing college i'll buy the biggest tv that my credit card allows me we'll watch the food network for the rest of our lives

im in love with the world through the eyes of a girl whos still around the morning after we broke up a month ago and i grew up i didnt know id be around the morning after its always been wait and see a happy day and then youll pay and feel like shit the morning after but now I feel changed around and instead of falling down im standing up the morning after situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later i could be another fool or an exception to the rule you tell me the morning after crooked spin can't come to rest im damaged bad at best shell decide what she wants ill probably be the last to know no one says it til it shows see how it is they want you or they don't say yes im in love with the world through the eyes of a girl whos still around the morning after

ive never been too good with names the cellar door was open i could never stay away i know its probably not my place its either or im hoping for a simple way of saying its a shame about ray in the stone under the dust his name is still engraved some things need to go away its a shame about ray if i make it through today ill know tomorrow not to leave my feelings out on display ill put the cobwebs back in place ive never been too good with names but i remember faces its a shame about ray in the stone under the dust his name is still engraved some things need to go away its a shame about ray

i don’t want to go to sleep and i don’t want to dream on a table or on the floor in a car outside at night in the snow waking up in someone else’s bed something tells me i’m losing my head i don’t want to leave just dye my hair and sleep the world is ending in my dreams every week for the last few years when it really ends they’ll fill my body with flames you and i will be a household name

someones always coming around here trailing some new kill says ive seen your picture on a hundred dollar bill and what's a game of chance to you to him is one of real skill so glad to meet you angeles picking up the ticket shows theres money to be made go on and lose the gamble thats the history of the trade and if you add up all the cards left to play to zero and sign up with evil angeles dont start me trying now cos im all over it angeles i could make you satisfied in everything you do all your secret wishes could right now be coming true and be forever with my poison arms around you no ones gonna fool around with us no ones gonna fool around with us so glad to meet you angeles

I know that it is freezing but I think we have to walk I keep waving at the taxis; they keep turning their lights off But Julie knows a party at some actor's west side loft Supplies are endless in the evening; by the morning they'll be gone. When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like shit. And I know you have a heavy heart; I can feel it when we kiss So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it But me I'm not a gamble you can count on me to split The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won't exist. You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black You just keep going to the bathroom always say you'll be right back Well it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad But what's so easy in the evening, by the morning is such a drag. I've got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train If you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain But what was normal in the evening, by the morning seems insane. and im not sure what the trouble was that started all of this the reasons all have run away but the feeling never did its not something i would recommend but it is one way to live cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is whats so simple in the moonlight now is so complicated whats so simple in the moonlight so simple in the moonlight

everyone i love is going to die and i will die as well. i think about this before i sleep and have since i was a child. in my life will i make a difference in my death will i be missed will i be granted some sort of an afterlife or will i just cease to exist this fear makes me feel so naive i wish that I could just accept but im chilled by the redundancy of thoughts collected but not kept maybe im still a stupid little boy too weak to understand what will come i want to find peace of mind maybe no mind is the answer to that conundrum Oh I want to be a baby again. Oh I want pure thoughts in my head. Oh I want to be a baby again. Oh I want to forget.

stay in bed, sometimes turning to my right, until i close my eyes this is not a song about sleep or death, it’s about something much smaller and paler than that i’m not going to show it to my friends. cause when i came home i’d lost thirty something pounds, i didn’t leave my bed, i threw up in a bathroom in baltimore before dancing with a girl i’ll probably never talk to again. we won’t be friends. and i won’t be nice to anyone because i don’t see why i should. i don’t see the point, i won’t get clean for the rest of my life. i won’t be nice

lets hold our heads up just tonight and pretend that we're okay cause we're okay right dear god i am still your son right god damn it i need you i don't know you at all anymore and i wanted to feel something better than what i once knew but i am alone tonight while the kids are out high i am alone tonight do you remember this like i remember you i will wake up beside you someday when we're both alone and lonely someday when i find the time to be a better boy ill be a better boy cause if ive ever wanted one thing itd be the last two years of our lives back and if i could ever tell you something itd be that "i still love you" "i will be a better boy if it means that you will stay here i will be a better boy a better boy"

i dont know man it was like three am this is a really rough demo